Where Do Your Personal Growth Goals Start?
Would you like to improve your mind, body, finances, relationships, or something else?
No matter what your goals are, they start somewhere. Are they your goals or someone else’s? Find out by asking yourself why?
I attended a happy hour for real estate brokers. I was talking with a colleague who told me that she was an evangelical Christian. She told me that something big was going to happen on a certain date. I asked her how her life would change if it didn’t happen. She hadn’t thought about it.
You might not see that as containing a why, but it does. Why believe something? Does your belief change your life? If not, why believe it?
I don’t remember the author, but someone gave me the idea of the true self and the false self. I’ve seen the basic idea in different places and with different names.
I like to think of the true self as your spirit. Your spirit can choose what to believe. Or your spirit can take a break and let your false self control.
Think of your false self as all the programming you have acquired during your life. Are your goals from your spirit (true self) or from your programming (false self)?
A patient is a great example. She was middle aged and having trouble moving. I watched her get out of a chair and stand for a minute before walking. She was also overweight. She and her husband were sitting in my small consultation room.
After introductions, I asked, “How can I help you?”
Patient, “I need to lose weight.”
Me, “You came to me to lose weight?”
Patient, “No. I’m having trouble moving and everybody tells me that it’s because I need to lose weight.”
Me, “I haven’t examined you. I don’t know if you need to lose weight or not.”
Husband, “I don’t care if she loses an ounce. I just want my wife back.”
Do you notice what was happening? She wanted to feel better and move better. She was setting a goal of losing weight because that is what “everybody” told her. Her true self wanted to have a happy life. Her false self was following what everybody had told her.
I told her the basis of my practice: “You are an intelligence using your brain and nervous system to control your body. If the bones in your spine become misaligned, they can interfere with your nervous system, and it doesn’t respond properly. We call that problem a subluxation. I correct the subluxation. Your nervous system begins to work properly, and you heal yourself.”
Her husband spoke for the first time. “Any doctor who doesn’t believe that is a fool.”
In a few weeks he had his wife back. In six months, she was able to help him place pavers in their driveway. She never lost a pound.
One day she was telling me about the dinner they had at a restaurant. She went into a lot of detail. She described how the food was prepared. How it looked. How the cook drizzled dressing on the salad. It was obvious that she enjoyed food. Imagine how miserable she would have been if she stuck to the goal of losing weight.
The point is to be clear on your goal. Where did you get the idea for the goal? Why do you want it? What will happen if you don’t get it?
The next step is to take action. I have experienced things just happening in my life, but most people find it takes action to take a goal from visualization to realization.
Imagine your goal was to have a new relationship. It is possible that someone will just show up and knock on your door. You must answer the door. You could go even further. You could venture out of your home and look for the person of your dreams. Again, ask yourself why? Should you look in a bar or in a church? Why? What type of person are you looking for?
Personal growth is about letting go of false beliefs and becoming your true self. Why? You’ll be happier.
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